All that a satiable Parenting needs is to make more Connection than Correction!
It is very well said that our life is built on perception, perception is based on opinion, opinion depends on the thought, thought originates from the mind and sometimes we need to change the mind in order to change the life. Of course, we are talking about a happy and satiated life comprised of a healthy family. When it comes to family, it becomes the utmost priority to figure out the ways to develop an ideal relationship between the parents and their children. Now a day, imbibing the skills of positive parenting has become the cynosure of the family’s existence. The point to ponder over is that if we are considering to focus on positive parenting then there must be negative parenting too. How is it possible? Can parents be wrong? And the answer is – May be they Can!
It is an undeniable fact that parents desire to raise their children with good moral values and discipline but sometimes due to their unbending beliefs and rigid perceptions, they forget that parent-child relationship is a two-way street or in-fact a trustful partnership between them and their child. But unfortunately, this supposed to be ‘a partnership’ becomes ‘a power struggle’ between the two entities. The expected bond of Sharing & Caring becomes Shrieking-Silence & Complaining. Parents assert their pains by highlighting the ignorance, arrogance and carelessness of their child while on the other hand child expresses the annoyance by pointing out parents ‘consistent interference, comparisons and competition.
This is extremely crucial time for the parents to develop an insight, to broaden the perspective and most importantly, instead of Watching they should start Looking or Seeing from the glass of their child. The preconceived and prejudiced beliefs like parents are always right, children must follow what they are expected to do, children can’t decide their future etc. have to be melted down and reshaped with new texture and lustre. Positive Parenting offers a foundation to fortify a strong bond of love and compassion in a family. The first step of this would be focusing on making Connection rather than making Correction. This word Connection is in itself a complete set of attitude and activity to be adapted by the parents for their child in order to fill the deep chasm between the relationships and annihilate all the negativities and misunderstandings. The word expresses multifarious meanings which can be imbibed with a fervour to bring an optimistic change.
Show Confidence in your child
When a child faces any challenges leading to failure, he/she starts losing faith in his/her abilities; at this moment parents are needed to show their Confidencein their child and boost up the lost zeal so that the child stands back on his/her feet to move forward ; to move ahead confidently with the credence that the parents have got the back.
Hopelessness feeds on sanity of life. Rejections and unexpected results tend to break the spirit of young ones easily. The parents are expected to stand with their child and make him/her see the upcoming Opportunities. Failure is never the end of the world, in fact, it offers a new beginning, a fresh start with more energy.
Provide needed Nursing
In the process of strengthening the adversity quotient, the child can get hurt in different aspect. There comes the key role of the parents to provide Nursing to their child. It is not that they should make the child completely dependent on themselves but if he/she stumbles on the path of self-discovery and starts bleeding, parents can heal the wound by applying the ointment of love and care.
Nourish the bonding
The parents-child relationship can be complicated. When the parents who should nurture support the child become the source of his/her pain, then it is the high time to bring a revolutionary change in their attitude. Parents must provide the positive Nourishment to their child for the overall development. Yes, indeed, they are expected to establish a bond of friendship but this relationship should be shielded with firmness and composure.
Develop the Endurance
There can be some situations when parents tend to lose patience and anger bursts out like a volcanic eruption, but the teenagers take this reaction offensive and close all the doors of understanding and compatibility which are supposed to be established between them. That’s why Endurance is considered as the saviour tool in such circumstances. Unfortunately, parents take it as their defeat by not reacting loudly and remaining quiet but they need to understand is that sometimes Silence handles the situation more effectively than confrontation. But Silence doesn’t mean ‘To let it Go’; if the child has done something disappointing then parents should try to go deep into the matter, try to find out the trigger and offer a suitable remedy.
Display Compassion
No matter how much the child has grown up, all of them crave for the warmth of love and Compassion. If the child is getting aggressive and arguing rudely, leaving the room to let the soothing air come in is considered as the best option. After a while, go to the child and give a warm hug. Try to present your point in a rational way. These small gestures of hug, kiss, pat can melt even the frozen heart.
Add Thrill in life
Any relationship can lose its essence and become mundane in the absence of adventure. One should try to keep the spark ignited by adding Thrill to it. Now a day, children get attracted towards excitingly challenging things. New places, new people and refreshing experiences have become the part of their lives. That’s the reason why Social Sites are minting money because of immense and constant involvement of young netizens. A family trip, family date and family games at home sustain the spark of fun and enjoyment in the relationship.
Ensure more Involvement
Excess of anything can be poisonous for a relationship. Parents’ Involvement in their child’s life is necessary but it should not take form of dominance and controlling. This involvement conveys the idea of knowing the child; understanding the needs and analysis, knowing the child’s company and observing his/her trigger point leading to different behaviour and different situations.
Encourage with Ovation
Any sort of achievement expects appreciation and motivation. Sometimes parents ignore the achievement of the child in expectation of the bigger success but they don’t see the dying enthusiasm and dissatisfaction in the eyes of the child who wants to relish that particular moment. A supportive Ovationfor the child works as the emotional panacea for the child. No matter how small the achievement is, parents must appreciate it and motivate the child to keep trying and making efforts in achieving the goals.
Win-Win Negotiation
It is believed that parents should not bribe their children for anything but sometimes positive Negotiation can be very helpful. This negotiation revolves around win-win situation where parents get what they desire and the child also feels satisfied.
To conclude, we can say that it is important for both the parents and the child to understand the depth of their relationship. The parents shouldn’t be considered as toxic just because they disappoint the children, disagree with them and have rules to be followed strictly. However, if they are exercising the behaviour of disregarding children’s feelings, being emotionally unavailable, emotionally blackmailing, controlling, and critical, comparing them to others, disrespectful of their boundaries, manipulative, playing victims and obsessed with putting on a good front, then they need to really work on these issues because the end result can be very frustrating and dissatisfactory. In the formative years, the child builds his/ her personality based on the perception and thinking of the parents. Hence, constant criticism and dominance result lack of confidence, self-doubt and pessimism leading the idea reverberating into the mind of the child that he/she is not good enough. But by bringing a change in the thought process, mending the opinion, a new perception can be created which has the tendency to nurture this special bond.